MY CHECKED BAGGAGE ALLOWANCE IS ONLY 23KG

'My Checked Baggage...' comes from Belinda Ashe who is rocking the 1950s housewife look to perfection!  I agree, 23kg is not enough!

NO BLUES BLUES BY BEN EWART & MATTY DEXTER

A brilliant collaboration from Ben Ewart and Matty Dexter titled, 'No Blues Blues'. 

You're just too happy to be blue boys!

I CAN NEVER DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR & WHAT SHOULD I EAT FOR DINNER?... BY LAUREN EWART

Here is Lauren Ewart's beautiful submission for this month....

I CAN NEVER DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR....

 WHAT SHOULD I EAT FOR DINNER?

I CAN NEVER DECIDE WHAT HAT TO WEAR OR THE STORY OF THE HATTED HOUSEMATES BY LAURA GROGAN

This is Laura Grogan's submission which stars 3 of her good looking flatmates....

...what hat to wear, argh!!!!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS...A POEM BY CAM EWART

First World Problems.

By Cam Ewart.

This civilised world that I call home

Has it’s up and downs.

I know I’m better off than most,

And horrible as it sounds-

There are so many problems in this ‘first’ world

That I could make a list,

But the time it’d take to read to you

Would surely be sorely missed.

Today I took the day off work,

Just because I could.

Made a coffee and watched TV,

Might catch up on “Deadwood”.

Organic Arabica coffee beans,

Are the only ones for me.

Grown somewhere in Arabica,

Picked by a kid who’s three.

But to my despair when I fired up

My Fifty-Inch Plasma Screen,

The screen it read “No Signal”,

I cursed the skies “Why Me?!”

I composed myself, remembered quick

My shelf of DVD’s.

300 titles, alphabetised,

but every one, I’d seen.

Fresh air, I thought, would do me well

So I grabbed my keys and phone.

Decided town was way too far,

So in the end I drove.

The traffic made me ill at ease,

So many cars and trucks.

I wish I’d walked instead today,

But I really can’t be fucked.

My stomach growled in hunger pains,

It’s been 2 hours since I ate.

I spied a Fish & Chip Shop,

and pulled in for potato cakes.

I made my order in my head,

As I remotely locked my car,

You never can be too careful these days,

With all the immigrants from afar.

I wandered up to the Chip Shop’s door,

And pushed, but it was shut.

I read the sign on the front door.

CLOSED MONDAYS – What the fuck??!!!

There are so many problems in this world,

I thought to myself.

The sun’s too hot, My beers too cold,

I guess it can’t be helped.

Plus…

I ate too much, I slept too long,

My Bed is way too soft.

TEN bucks for a jug of beer?

Your smoking makes me cough.

And…

My hot water takes too long to heat,

The rising cost of Organic Meat.

The reception on my mobile phone,

The interest rates on my home loan.

The city is too full these days,

But the country is just too far away.

No one comments on my status posts,

(It takes me ages to think of those).

I’ve got too many pairs of choose,

Too many shirts, which do I choose?

My internet is way too slow,

When I’m watching porn it takes ages to load.

My parents call me way too much,

It’s so uncool to take your own lunch.

Everyone’s got the same ringtone as me,

It’s a symbol of my individuality!

I can’t see the city from my balcony,

Gonna have to cut down that huge tree.

Oh…

But look what I’ve done,

I’ve wasted your time.

Just by you reading this…

And your time, to you, I know is sacred,

But we must understand this.

At the end of the day, it’s all we have.

In whichever world we live.

Time…and it’s fast running out.

Better order those Fish & Chips.

ONLY BORING PEOPLE GET BORED

Hello friends, this is my (Gillian Nix's) submission for this month.....crafty cupcakes that read 'ONLY BORING PEOPLE GET BORED'.

  'First World Problems' was such a good theme and I had so many ideas that it was trick to choose one to pursue.  I am a high school Art teacher and I often hear kids at school saying in a very teenager kind of way, "I'm bored!".  My reply is always "Only boring people get bored, don't you know!?"  and that kind of makes them stop and think for a while - no kid wants to be boring after all!  The sad thing is that I hear it all the time at school, and it makes me feel sad and annoyed, because usually I will hear it in a lesson that I have spent hours preparing!!!  (I don't mean to boast, but my lessons are usually pretty good fun and exciting, with a lot of work gone into each one.  I think that even if I brought in dancing monkeys and elephants to draw in class, I would still hear that phrase!).  

 

I got to thinking about boredom a lot this month, and I thought about people less fortunate that us in the 'first world'.  Do people who struggle to feed their families, stay healthy, fight in civil wars, survive devastating floods, struggle to get enough water.....do they ever have the luxury of being bored?  I don't think so. 

We have so many gadgets and things to entertain us in our world these days and I think that in general there is a significant shift in our culture toward sitting back and letting other people or things entertain us, rather than finding ways to keep ourselves entertained, interested and creative.  I don't ever remember feeling bored as a child - there was always something to do, something to make or play at.  Make no mistake, in no way am I pointing a grumply old wagging finger at children...it's not just children that have the curse of the boredom, I here adults all the time complaining of being bored, unfulfilled etc.  Maybe we just need to get better at being happy and content with what we have in the 'first world', or at least make changes that will cure the boredom - not expect someone else or something else to fix it.  I have projects that I keep on the back burner for times of possible boredom, and I never, ever feel like I have enough time to do all the things I would like to do.  I hate the thought of being bored!  My sister in-law told me last night that her grade 4 teacher once told her that boredom is caused by a lack of imagination.  I think the grade 4 teacher was absolutely right! 

Okay, my ranting is over!

I had so many ideas on how to present the phrase 'Only boring people get bored', and I even started a lino print on Tuesday of this week, but I just ran out of time.  I really liked the thought of turning this idea of boredom into something that would take a lot of time to complete, which the lino would have perfect for.  Sadly, I just ran out of time to complete it so I settled on my next idea of cupcakes.  (My excuse I hear you ask!?  I started a new job this week and it has been so, so busy!  I will complete the lino one day and post it on here, I promise!)  I had lots of fun making the cakes and like all small children, I liked the cake mix off the bowl which was just great!

Oh and on Tuesday I'm going to take some cakes over to friends who are involved with art club....I won't be eating 24 cupcakes myself!

 How cute are the polka-dot paper cases!?

 Pre-oven...

 Post oven...

 Making the funky lettering....

I got the idea for the lettering a few nights ago from watching 'Better Homes and Gardens'...I think it's just brilliant!  I was so happy that it was on TV because I was just sat watching TV and thinking about how I would make the letters for the cakes...freaky or what!

Here is the video link to the recipe that I watched.

Remember to write your chocolate letters back to front!

 When I was taking the photos for the blog I started to have a bit of fun with arranging the letters....I just couldn't resist!....

 Hahahahahaha....

Here are some photos of the drawing and lino that I started that I will complete one day.....

FAT CHILDREN TOOK MY LIFE....

So when I first heard the theme for this month I immediately thought of this song, "Fat Children" by one of my all time favourites, Jarvis Cocker.  Fat children picking on some tall, lanky guy for fun sounds like a problem to me....

I thought I'd just share this song with you here...

...oh how I love Jarvis!

Lyrics, for those of you like me, that can  never fully work out what the singer says....

Fat Children, Jarvis Cocker

Last night I had a little altercation
They wobbled menacingly
Beneath the yellow street light it became a situation
Well, they wanted my brand-new phone with all the pictures of the kids and the wife
A struggle ensued and then fat children took my life

Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life

Well, some passers-by took me to the station
The police force was elsewhere,
putting bullets in some guy's head for no particular reason
So I died in the back of the cab
but I'll be back to haunt them
This thing does not end here
My spirit walks the streets of Tottenham

Singing:
Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life

Oh, the parents are the problem
Giving birth to maggots without the sense to become flies
So pander to your pampered little princess
of such enormous size



A TRUE FIRST WORLD PROBLEM....

An old friend from school posted this on her facebook only a few hours ago....

"Really can't decide what I fancy for tea...pizza express or Indian!"

- a very common first world problem!  What to have for your dinner.

  Well, if she were doing Art club she could try and make a combination of both...why not...that's very creative isn't it?!  What about a lamb bhuna topping, or dahl and mushroom?  There are endless possibilities!

ANNOUNCING THIS MONTH'S THEME....

After the success of last month's project, we are pleased to announce the 2nd theme for 'Art Club/Around the Kitchen Table', and it is.....................

"FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS"

The lovely Laura Grogan submitted this month's project, and isn't it a corker!! Laura was the genius behind the paper crane animation from last month's task.  Check out this website for some ideas

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Ffirst-world-problems.com%2F&h=HAQGyRiXH

 (also submitted by Laura).

I looked at this last night and had a wee chuckle at some of the 'problems', and already I have some ideas brewing.  One post I particularly liked was someone saying how their hand always gets cold when using their computer mouse - it's so true - I hate that!  My mother in-law, Karen, had a brilliant idea to crochet a single handed mitten to cover the hand, which would be mouse shape with whiskers and tail...genius!

This is a little bit late in reaching the blog, so even though I am posting on the 14th of January, the actual deadline is the 5th of February.  This tardiness can be blamed on excessive enjoyment of the festive season.  Oh yeah, that reminds me.... Happy 2012!  It's going to be a great and creative year, I can feel it!

After a little google search I saw this image and it made me laugh.....